The Story You Avoid Telling Is the One Your Audience Needs Most

A Veteran’s Day Reflection

There is a particular kind of silence that lives in the stories we do not tell.

Sometimes it is the silence of grief.

Sometimes it is the silence of pride.

And sometimes it is the silence of not knowing if the story will be understood by the people who hear it.

Veterans live with this silence in a way that is both deeply personal and universally shared.

I know this silence because I lived it.

I served as a United States Marine Corps musician. I was not on the front lines of battle carrying a rifle (just the front ranks of a parade band carrying my instrument), but I carried something else: I carried the responsibility of morale, tradition, community, and ceremony. I carried the weight of honoring others’ sacrifices. I played at funerals, stood for taps, and watched families hold their breath in the space between the final note and the reality of loss settling over them.

And like most veterans, I don’t tell those stories.

Not because I am ashamed, but because I don’t know how to make others understand the weight of them.

Veterans across every branch, every era, and every role, carry stories like these. Stories that shaped us. Stories that challenged us. Stories that changed how we move through and see the world.

And yet, the first things we are taught at boot camp are:

• Be tough.
  
  
• Carry on.
  
  
• Don’t feel or show too much.
  
  
• Don’t take up too much space.
  
  

So we tuck the stories away.

We store them in the depths of our souls.

We convince ourselves that silence is strength.

But here is the truth I have learned, both as a speaker and as a human who has lived a few lives:

The stories we are most hesitant to share are often the stories that hold the most power for healing.

Not just healing for us, but for others.

When we share our stories, we:

• Give language to experiences others may have shared but have never been able to name.
  
• Provide connection where isolation used to be.
  
• Give permission for (or even invite) someone else to feel what they have been avoiding.

Stories are the bridge between worlds that might otherwise never meet.

Veterans Have Stories That Teach Us:

• Resilience.
  
• Commitment.
  
• Sacrifice.
  
• Loyalty.
  
• What it means to belong to something bigger than yourself.
  
• What it means to lose the version of yourself you were in order to become the version you are.
  
• And what it means to rebuild.
  

These stories matter. Not because they are dramatic. Not because they are heroic. But because they are profoundly human.

And humanity is what connects us all.

But There Is Another Layer Here.

Veterans are not the only ones with stories they keep hidden.

Every person has a story they avoid sharing because it feels too tender, too raw, too complicated, or too heavy.

The story of:

• The moment they broke.
  
• The parent who left.
  
• The time they failed.
  
• The identity they hid.
  
• The dream they buried.
  
• The trauma they still carry.
  
• The truth they feared would make others uncomfortable.
  

The story you avoid is the story someone needs. Because the story you avoid is the story that shaped you. And if it shaped you, it holds wisdom.

This Is Why I Teach Storytelling.

Not because speaking is glamorous.

Not because standing on stage is exhilarating.

Not because confidence is some magical personality trait.

I teach storytelling because sharing our experiences is one of the most powerful ways we heal, connect, and lead.

So today I make a pledge to start sharing more. More about loving an addict. More about being a single parent for a while, and more about deciding to join the Marine Corps at an age when most service members are considering leaving the service. Because I know just how powerful it is when we start to share those hidden pieces of ourselves with others. 

When I speak about my time in the Marine Corps, I speak about:

• The pride.
  
• The difficulty.
  
• The discipline.
  
• The grief.
  
• The music.
  
• The humanity held inside service that few people ever see.
  

And every time I share, someone comes up afterward and says:

“I have never told anyone this, but…”

And there it is: the story that was waiting.

The silence that was ready to break.

The healing that finally had room to breathe.

So This Veteran’s Day, I Offer You This:

If you served, your story matters. If you love someone who served, their story matters. If you have a story that shaped you, even if it has nothing to do with military service, it matters too.

Tell it.

Write it.

Share it with one safe person. Speak it into a room when you are ready. Or whisper it to yourself until you can say it louder.

You do not need to share every detail. You do not need to relive pain to honor its role in your life. You do not owe your story to the world. But you do owe yourself the truth of who you are.

And sometimes speaking that truth is the most courageous thing you will ever do.

Because courage didn’t begin on a battlefield.

It began in the moments you decided to keep going. And it continues each time you choose to let yourself be seen.

If you are ready to share your story, break free of the chains holding you back, and inspire countless others with your words, let’s chat. Book a free call with me today and let’s get your story written and shared.

Ciao for now

Semper Fidelis